Letters to J, Matchbox Twenty, Music, Pop Culture, Rob Thomas

Rob Thomas from Matchbox Twenty Will Cure What Ails You

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Dear J,

I’ve been in a slump lately. Just a lot of nonsense has been going on with this one girl and it’s gotten me all out of whack. I’m actually feeling emotions. It sucks. The only thing that has kept my life from spiraling down a deep, dark vortex of depression has been the silky smooth voice of Rob Thomas from Matchbox Twenty. His songs say exactly what I’m thinking. They don’t let you bury your feelings, they make you confront them head on.

I made a playlist of all my favorite Rob Thomas/Matchbox Twenty songs and have been asking Alexa to play it on my Echo Dot nonstop, I’ve been playing the songs in my truck any time I go somewhere, and I’ve been jamming out to them at work instead of doing work. I can’t help it. Rob Thomas just may be the most talented and lyrically gifted songwriter ever to walk the Earth. Below, I’ve ranked the songs on my playlist from my least favorite to my favorite even though I love all of these songs and could listen to them any time. I’ve also included a link to the Spotify playlist I made.

17. Long Day – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgoz3XkW1UM&w=560&h=315]

I’m so terrified of no one else but me,  I’m here all the time, I won’t go away

This song reminds me of the times I become my worst self in front of the people I care about the most. They don’t deserve it and I don’t know why I act that way but I can’t help it. It seems like I always have an excuse.

16. How Far We’ve Come – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d7EbtLb8ok&w=560&h=315]

Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?

This is one of the faster paced songs on the list. It’s a fun song to shout. Even so, it’s got some deep lyrics. It’s about the world ending and a guy wondering if his life even meant anything. I hope that in the end, my life meant something.

15. Someday – Rob Thomas

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6pODq8_FxE&w=560&h=315]

Maybe someday we’ll figure all this out

This song is pretty straightforward. Maybe someday everything will turn out alright. That’s the hope anyway.

14. Real World – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwJazZIWNgg&w=560&h=315]

I wish the real world would just stop hassling me

This song is all about escapism. We all sit around wondering what our lives would be like if we were more important or more powerful. But then the real world gets in the way of our dreams and we’ve just gotta make do with who we are.

13. Her Diamonds – Rob Thomas

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNCgfrjKcqs&w=560&h=315]

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do so I sit down and I cry, too, But don’t let her see

This song is pretty sad taken at face value but takes on an even more somber feel when you realize it was written about Rob Thomas’ wife Marisol’s battle with an autoimmune disease. He said that she has good days and bad days and that this song was written about one of the bad days. Comforting a loved one is never easy, especially when you’re at a loss for words and all you can offer is your presence. This is a feeling Rob conveys beautifully through his lyrics.

12. Smooth – Santana feat. Rob Thomas

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc&w=560&h=315]

Give me your heart, make it real, or else forget about it

For some reason, there are people out there who don’t believe that this classic is one of the greatest songs ever recorded. Those people are wrong. I personally have been listening to this song nonstop since I was four years old.

11. Lonely No More – Rob Thomas

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7spBU4Yv8fE&w=560&h=315]

Why can’t we just try?

This song is about a guy who’s thinking about getting into a relationship with a woman but he’s been hurt and left lonely so many times before that he wants to be absolutely sure she won’t be like the rest before he jumps in. She wants him to trust her with his heart. She doesn’t think they’d hurt each other and wants to at least try. Me and that one girl sort of fit into this song but in opposite roles.

10. Mockingbird – Rob Thomas

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR2pUsRcvm8&w=560&h=315]

You and me tried everything, but still that mockingbird won’t sing

This is another one of the more upbeat songs with a chorus that’s fun to shout. As fun as it is, though, the words won’t keep you from thinking about how hard y’all tried to make it work and just couldn’t. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

9. Unwell – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WziA88-n02k&w=560&h=315]

Hold on, Feeling like I’m headed for a breakdown, And I don’t know why

This is a classic Matchbox Twenty song. You can’t skip it once you hear that banjo playing. It’s a song about getting in a slump and just hoping that the people you love will stick around long enough to see you through it.

8. Push – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAkHqYlqops&w=560&h=315]

I don’t know if I’ve ever been really loved by a hand that’s touched me

Push is another staple for any Matchbox Twenty playlist. It’s about a guy stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship. I’ve never experienced this personally so I mostly like this song because of how catchy it is. The imagery in this song really helps it stand out too. I feel like someone being “rusty” and feeling like their head is caving in is something most people can relate to.

7. 3AM – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-Naa1HXeDQ&w=560&h=315]

She only sleeps when it’s raining

This song is deeply personal to Rob Thomas. He wrote it to depict the struggles his mom went through as she battled with cancer. This song has everything: rain, loneliness, cries for help. It evokes every emotion we keep hidden deep down and pushes them to the surface.

6. Bright Lights – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12P2o91OLo4&w=560&h=315]

I got a hole in me now, Yeah, I got a scar I can talk about

This one’s about a guy longing for a girl who leaves to go on to bigger and better things. He doesn’t want her to go but he also doesn’t want to hold her back. He tells her that if the bright lights aren’t all they’re cracked up to be, she can always come back home to him and he’ll be waiting for her. Sounds familiar.

5. If You’re Gone – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clKAdQnwJ7A&w=560&h=315]

I think I’m scared, I think too much, I know it’s wrong, it’s a problem I’m dealing

Sometimes in a relationship, you can see the end coming from a mile away. You do all you can to stop it but it’s just inevitable. And when she’s gone, you have so much room to breathe but you can’t even move without her. You try to hold on but in the end, you’ve got to start planning a life without her in it. Rob Thomas wrote this song for his fiancée (now wife), Marisol, when she was unsure if she wanted to marry a musician.

4. Back 2 Good – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg93Lac49-Y&w=560&h=315]

I’m lonely now, and I don’t know how, to get it back to good

I think this song is about how people are alone even when they’re together. They just keep someone around to fill the void when they’d really rather be with someone else. They don’t know how to break out of that rut. I think that’s what happened with me and her. I think she just kept me around because she was hung up on her ex but needed someone around. She needed someone safe. She was always talking about him. Always worried about him. It wasn’t great.

3. Ever The Same – Rob Thomas

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2bjkEPL-9g&w=560&h=315]

Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart, Just let me hold you so we both fall down

This song is about being vulnerable and letting someone in. Life is hard but it’s a little easier when you’ve got someone there to share the load with you. It’s meaningful but it’s also just a beautiful song to listen and sing along to. People who cry a lot might just shed a tear while they listen to it.

2. Overjoyed – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg6r-IeH7ss&w=560&h=315]

When nobody understands you, well I do

This is a sweet song. The message it conveys is that talking to her and just being with her makes him overjoyed. He can’t contain his emotions. He just wants to be with her, just wants to hear her voice. It seems like a simple thing to say but it says so much. I’m sure everyone has someone who makes them feel that way or would like to be that person for someone else.

1. Bent – Matchbox Twenty

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=969RAKkYESU&w=560&h=315]

Shouldn’t be so complicated, Just hold me and then, Well just hold me again

In this song, he’s basically telling her that he needs her help getting straightened out. All he needs for that to happen is for her to love him or show him some affection. It’s simple. “Just hold me and then, well just hold me again.” He’s like a chia pet. Just water him once a day and he’s good. He’s not clingy and doesn’t need attention 24/7 in order to feel loved and appreciated. He just wants someone by his side who cares about him and shows it every once in a while.

If you liked those songs, they’re all right here in one convenient place: in the mood for rob thomas

Also, if you have any other interpretations of the songs or just want to talk about how great Rob Thomas is, feel free to leave a comment. Please note, however, that I will not allow any anti-Rob Thomas bigotry!

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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Dating, Life Advice, Men, Men's Health, Relationships

5 Bulletproof Tips for Avoiding the Friendzone

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friendzoned

THE BALLAD OF TANK: A CAUTIONARY TALE

Take heed, my friends. The following story will strike a chord with each and every one of you. Some of the words may be too painful for you to bear. But you must read on. You must learn from the tale I am about to tell, lest you continue in obsolescence.

There once was a young man named Hank  we’ll call him Tank. The first time I met Tank was at a Superbowl party. I had never met him before but he came with a friend of mine so I figured he must be alright. He was obviously into her. He didn’t really talk to anyone else the whole night and every time she moved her seat, he’d move right next to her.

He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious? – Avril Lavigne

A few weeks later, Tank finally made a move. He went to my friend’s apartment and asked her on a date. She was so surprised that she said no and closed the door in his face! They haven’t talked since. Tank got hardcore friendzoned, possibly even given the boot altogether.

Here’s a rundown of what he did wrong:

-He obviously waited too long to make his feelings known

-He was too clingy

-He made it awkward

-He went for a movie ending without hashing out the beginning and middle

-He probably missed some hints

The easiest way to win the game is not to play, but that’s not an option here. You don’t want to spend your life on the sidelines. You’re too good a player to be sitting the bench. At least that’s what I tell myself. If you’ll follow this handy guide to avoiding the friendzone, you can avoid going down the same dark path that our dear friend, Tank, went down.

1. GIVE HER SOME SPACE

Nobody likes being around someone that’s clingy but girls especially don’t like a clingy guy. They don’t want you responding to their texts in half a second and they don’t need you constantly checking up on them. It makes you seem obsessive and uninteresting. What kind of interesting things could be going on in your life if you have time to answer her at the drop of a hat?

If you’re at an event or gathering or something together, you don’t have to be attached at the hip. Walk around and talk to people or hang out in different groups. It’s kind of weird if you never leave her side. Give her some room to breathe. She may be all you think about, but you might not be the same for her. Actually, you’re probably not, especially if you’re being annoying. Plus, you’ll seem like you don’t have any friends aside from her and she might feel sorry for you which is not a good sign. If you’re worried about her talking to people that are more interesting than you, maybe you need to be more interesting or less insecure.

Show her that y’all can be apart without you having a panic attack.

2. BE CONFIDENT

Nothing turns a girl off more than a guy that’s insecure. More often than not, guys will try to hide those insecurities only for them to manifest themselves in unhealthy ways later on. They might cause you to lash out at the girl you’re pursuing and that is extremely counterproductive. Work on your problems or your mindset before you even think about getting into a relationship. You don’t want to bring a bunch of baggage in with you and you don’t want to risk hurting someone you care about.

If it’s your appearance you’re insecure about, there are ways to change it without going overboard. Try a new haircut or facial hair style. If you’re smaller, go to the gym and bulk up some. If you think she might leave you for somebody else, that’s something you’ll have to worry about if you get into a relationship with her.

Working on those things that bother you will not only improve them, they’ll allow you to feel in control of your situation and that will boost your confidence. It will also prepare you for those inevitable times in a relationship when you’ll need to work through some hard stuff. You’ll be more likely to endure to the end.

3. BE ABLE TO PICK UP ON HINTS

This is a big one. You’ve got to be able to pick up on hints. If you can’t do this, you’re pretty much destined to fail. Girls don’t like to straight up say how they feel. They want guys to pick up on their hints (or more accurately, read their minds). They’ll drop subtle hints if they’re interested in you but they’ll drop atomic bombs for hints to let you know they’re not interested. The bad thing about being a guy is that we normally can’t tell these two apart.

I’ll cover some of the signs in another blog post but for now I’ll talk about some of the more obvious ones you’ll come across. One of the signs that she’s at least a little interested is physical contact like playful hitting. She might slap your arm or backhand your chest or something like that. Unless she’s straight up decking you in the face, this is usually a good sign. An obvious sign she’s not interested in you is that she comes to you for guy advice or treats you like her gay best friend. She’ll confide in you and tell you her secrets and you’ll think that means you’re getting closer. ABORT! Or you’ll be placed firmly in the friendzone with little to no escape options.

4. MAKE YOUR FEELINGS KNOW ASAP

You’ve gotta let her know how you feel about her as soon as possible. It doesn’t how awkward you think it’s going to be. You have to. Sometimes guys think doing that might “mess up their chances” but nothing will mess up your chances like not having any in the first place. Next thing you know, you’ve been spending months trying to win over a girl who’s been hooking up with some other guy every time she finishes hanging out with you and telling you about all of her problems. The sooner you get this out of the way, the sooner you know whether or not to keep going after her or to just move on.

Having to move on will suck but it will be a lot better in the long run than the alternative. Just think about it. Would you want to know you’ve got no shot early on so you can move on to some other girl that would possibly work out or would you rather waste months of your life just to end up heartbroken anyway?

5. REMEMBER THAT LIFE IS NOT A MOVIE

You’ve got to remember that no matter what advice you learned or romantic scenes you’ve seen in movies, life is rarely like that. A girl is not going to slowly but surely develop feelings for you as you slave away for her and answer her every beckon call. Her feelings aren’t going to culminate until they overwhelm her one rainy night when you show up on her doorstep to confess your love. She’ll just think you’re a wet fool. And she might close her door in your face after rejecting you. You have to be realistic. You can’t just drop a love bomb on her and expect her to fall head over heels for you. You can’t use cheesy one-liners you saw on a romcom on her. She probably won’t even be listening. She’ll be thinking “WTF IS GOING ON?” so just be chill.

It’s not a perfect list or even that comprehensive, but you’ll be better off if you follow these basic rules. Maybe I’ll expand on some of the points some time in the future.

Good luck.

If none of that works out, Rob Thomas will ease your pain.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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Animals, Current Events, Holidays

Even my Betta Is Lonely on Valentine’s Day

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Sad bettaFor some people, Valentine’s day is a happy day filled with love and gifts. For the rest of us, it’s just another reminder that out lonely lives are one day closer to their lonely ends. We wake up to no new texts, no flowers or cards or whatever, nothing. We have to watch our coworkers get gifts and singing grams delivered and pretend to be happy for them. We have to pretend “Galentine’s Day” and “Singles Awareness Day” are funny jokes. It sucks.

Apparently it’s not any better in the animal world.

When betta fish want to mate, they make a nest of bubble and then the female swims through it and gets pregnant or something like that. Well when I got into work today, i saw the saddest thing. I guess The Real Swim Shady knew it was Valentine’s Day and thought he could get himself a mate. Around the edges of his bowl were frothy bubble nests. I didn;t have the heart to tell him he’d be alone for what is probably his first and last (hopefully not last) Valentine’s Day on this earth. He just keeps swimming around longingly.

It’s ok, little buddy. I’ve spent 23 of them alone. Hopefully you do die actually because it never sucks any less.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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