Animals, Death

I Think My Betta Wants to Kill Me

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Dear J,

I’m sorry that I haven’t written in a long time. Life got hectic after that last post. It’s actually crazy how quickly it moved. I met some new people, went through some stuff with them, and went through a lot of stuff on my own in just these past three months. I can’t remember everything that happened right now but if any of the experiences come up later I’ll talk about them. I just wanted to write you today so that if I turned up missing or dead in the near future, you would know why.

Secret Santa Satan

It all started a couple weeks before Christmas. In our office, we play Secret Santa and if for some reason you don’t know what that is, it’s where you get assigned a person in the office to give presents to for a week but you can’t tell them you’re the one giving them presents until the week is up. I gave my person a coffee mug and some fuzzy socks. I tried to keep my identity a secret but she knew it was me.

I, on the other hand, had absolutely no idea who my Secret Santa was. On the first day, I received nothing. I sat at my desk empty-handed while everyone else enjoyed the presents their Santas had dropped off throughout the day. It was much of the same story on the second day. By now I was started to get agitated. Had my Secret Santa forgotten about me?

Special Delivery

Finally, on the third day a coworker walked up to me holding a large back with Charlie Brown and Snoopy riding a sled on the front of it. “Special delivery from Santa Claus” he said. I was so excited I tore into the bag without thinking twice. My hand gripped what felt like a small cup. I pulled it out of the bag without a second thought but what I held should not have been handled to quickly and carelessly. A splash of water covered my hand and I looked in disbelief as I realized I had just pulled a betta fish out of my bag.

He was sleek and red and very angry. I loved him. I sent a mass email to everyone in the office asking for possible names. We ended up having five names to choose from: Rocky, Rudolph, Bush (RIP George HW), Nicholas, and The Real Swim Shady.

The Real Swim Shady won by a landslide.

Will the Real Swim Shady Please Stand Up?

I don’t think Shady likes me. It seems like every time I look at him, he’s flared up and staring at me. He’s calmed down some since he’s realized that I’m the one who gives him food but I still think he hates me. I think he wants me dead. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him make a throat-slashing gesture with his fins but I can’t be 100% sure. He’s just lurking in his tank waiting for me to slip up so he can take me out. He just sits and stares at me. He’s doing it right now! I hope he can’t read what I’m typing. If he can, then I’m dead for sure. If he can, then I guess this is goodbye.

I’ll miss you.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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Death, Letters to J, Prison

Throwback Thursday

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Dear J,

You’ll meet a lot of different people in your life that will impact you in many different ways. Some will inspire you to achieve great things and some will break you down. Some will make you wonder how you got on without them and some will make you wish you never met them. These past few days, I was confronted with two stories of two people I met at a young age. Both of these people impacted my life in some way and it’s sad to see what’s happened to them.

Rest in Peace

My dad was flipping through some sort of Aggie magazine when he started reading the names of Aggies that passed away and would be honored at Muster next year. One of the names on the list belonged to my fourth grade teacher. It was pretty shocking because I didn’t even think she was that old. I’m still not sure what she died of but it must have been some sort of disease.

I’m not going to lie and say we had some sort of Dead Poets Society “Oh Captain, my Captain” type relationship. One of the few things I remember about her is that I didn’t like her because she called my mom crazy one time. I didn’t hate her, I just didn’t like her. Another thing I remember about her (that was also mentioned in her obituary) is that she loved the Astros. I’m glad she got to see them win the World Series before she died.

One thing I am grateful to her for, though, is that when I was in her class, she recognized that I was a pretty decent writer. For one of our field trips, we went and watched the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra play at the Rudder Auditorium on the Texas A&M campus. It was probably one of the fanciest things I’d ever been to. One of the songs (or whatever you call them) they played was Peter and the Wolf. When we got back to school the next day, our class was told that there was an essay contest for all the school that attended the concert. For whatever reason, I didn’t want to participate.

On the day of the deadline, I still hadn’t written anything. When pressed by my teacher to write my essay, I wrote that I fell asleep during the concert and missed everything. She had me throw that entry away and write a real one. The essay I came up with actually won the contest! I got a check for $25, a framed copy of my essay, and my picture in the newspaper. I didn’t smile for the picture because I didn’t like my teacher then but I’m glad she pushed me to write that essay.

Locked Up

I’ve always loved sports ever since I was a little kid. I played baseball, basketball, and football growing up. Football was my shortest-lived sport, though. I only played it when I was in third grade. my dad sent me an article the other day showing me that the guy who coached me that year is going to jail for having inappropriate relations with a student. That’s crazy to me! It’s weird that had he not coached me as a third grader, our paths wouldn’t have crossed and it would’ve just been another gross teacher/student story to me only happening in a town I used to live in.

I’m not too surprised by people I know getting locked up for crazy stuff. Last year I was scrolling through the news and came across an article about a preacher getting arrested for committing indecent acts with a thirteen year old girl. I found out real quick that the sick individual who was arrested was a close friend and mentor of mine. Disgusting. I about threw up at my desk. After that, I haven’t really been surprised by too much.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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Letters to J, Texas A&M

Come Sail Away

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Dear J,

The lake was so peaceful this weekend. I went out there to take pictures while I visited my parents at their new apartment. If I didn’t have to bring two pizzas back to my family I would’ve stayed out there all day watching the airplanes fly and the sailboats pass by. I got a lot of good pictures for my all-time favorite missionary’s polaroid album. The water was real nice and the beaches and dock weren’t crowded like they were in Waco. I got some pictures of boats on the dock and some of ducks and geese that were running around. For some reason, the hardest picture to get was of a hibiscus. I couldn’t get it quite centered like I wanted it to but I needed that flower to be in the book so I tried a few times. It only took about three times to get a picture I thought would be good enough for the book.

Cameron Park Zoo

On the way home, I stopped by the Cameron Park Zoo, the Aggie Barn, and the Bush Library. It was pretty hot at the zoo and I didn’t get very good pictures but it was still cool to get to walk around and see all the animals. Usually I’m out there sweating and volunteering and don’t really get to take it all in. Elephants are my favorite and I wish they had been closer so I could’ve gotten a good picture but they were pretty far away. Also, did I mention that it was HOT?

The Aggie Barn

aggie barn

On the way from Waco to College Station, there’s an Aggie barn that’s painted maroon and white and has class years on it. My mom got an iconic photo of it for me when my class year (2017) was painted on it. On my way back to College Station, I pulled on the side of the road and snapped a polaroid of it for my missionary’s book. I used my last picture for it. I kind of want to keep it but I’ll give it to her.

George Bush Library

george hw bush statue

For reasons I’m not too caught up on, George H.W. Bush decided that Aggieland was the perfect place to build his presidential library. I’m glad he did, I just think it’s a weird relationship. Anyway, he’s got a real nice library out here. I’ve been to it a few times. This past weekend I went over there to take some pictures for my missionary’s album. I got a pretty good picture of the front of the museum, the statue of George H.W. Bush, and the horse statue that’s got a piece of the Berlin Wall on it.

Sloppy Performance

at&t stadium

All in all it was pretty good weekend. Except for that game put on by the Aggies. We should have put the whoopin’ on Arkansas. We should’ve wrecked em. We should’ve left hogs battered and bruised all over Jerry’s World. But after running back the opening kickoff for a touchdown, all we managed to do was squeak out a 7 point win. It was such an ugly game. Jimbo even had to grab a player by the facemask to keep him from acting stupid. We won’t get back in the Top 25 after that but we won and I guess that’s what matters.

Hopefully Kentucky takes it easy on us next weekend.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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Letters to J, Public Speaking

Speaking at Church

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church

Dear J,

This past Sunday night, our church had a Fireside where three people were chosen to speak about why they believe in God and how they came to the church. Originally, I was supposed to be a backup for one of those three people. I was going to be like the 12th Man: suit up, show up, stand on the sidelines in case they need me. But I guess they needed me in the game instead because last Wednesday they asked me to be one of the ACTUAL speakers. With no backup.

I was a telecommunications major and had to do a lot of presentations in college and I also ran for state representative but I don’t like public speaking. It’s nerve-wracking and I’m not sure why. I know that all if I’m having to talk in front of a lot of people, it’s not a punishment. Those people are there to hear what I have to say. But that didn’t stop me from being extremely nervous even thinking about talking in front of everyone on Sunday.

Practice Makes Perfect (Almost)

It didn’t make it any better that the elders said that my talk had to be around ten minutes long! How was I supposed to ramble on for that long? I figured I needed to practice what I was going to say so for a few hours a night I shaped my talk. I timed myself and I started off with a speech that lasted fifteen minutes. I was pretty surprised because it didn’t feel like that took that long. My new problem was trying not to bore everyone to death by rambling on too long about my story. I figured I was solid after that as long as I could cut out some of the fluff.

I trimmed the speech down to about eight minutes after I took out some unnecessary parts to the story. They still got the idea but weren’t bogged down by the details. I also thought that it was going to be mostly young people at the Fireside but there were a lot of older people and kids so I modified the semi-polygamy joke I had planned and cut out some other stuff they might not have liked that much. I still made a polygamy joke though because I had to. It wasn’t that bad. I just said that growing up, the only two words that came to my mind when anyone brought up Mormons was “sister wives”. Originally I was going to say “weird” and “polygamy”.

The Main Event

After days of hoping that by some miracle, they’d find somebody else to give the talk in my place, Sunday came and I was still a go. I was already nervous but I found out when I got there that two of my old missionaries (the ones I visited about two weeks ago) were going to be there! I was happy to see them, though. I wish they would get sent back here but I don’t think they will. To make me even more nervous, just about every missionary in Texas was sitting behind us on the stage (or whatever the front of the church is called). I hate when people sit behind me. That’s why I was always in the back of the class.

I had to speak after one of the elders played a song on the violin. I hoped it would be a long song. Once he hit that last note, it was go time. I got up to the mic and was immediately overcome with nerves, but I powered through it and introduced myself. Right before I got on a roll, a guy came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I thought Oh wow I’m already getting kicked off the stage. He was just asking me to stand closer to the mic.

After the introduction, I didn’t really feel nervous anymore. Maybe it was that brief distraction or the fact that the church laughed at the first thing I said and put me at ease. Either way I rolled through that speech and didn’t think too much of it. If I felt myself starting to get nervous or my voice started to get shaky, I’d just look at one of my good friends sitting in the front row and pretend like I was talking straight to her like I usually do. It felt natural. I also don’t like when people doing church talks set up a joke and pause afterwards and then people think Oh I’m supposed to laugh now and then there are bunch of pity laughs. I avoided that by not pausing at all UNLESS the people were laughing and wouldn’t be able to hear the rest of what I was saying.

I really only sprinkled in two actual jokes I wanted to say but I had them laughing the whole time so I guess it was alright. I just talked how I usually do and I’m normally pretty good at making people laugh even unintentionally. I know I was scared at first but it sort of felt good to be up there speaking to everyone. The only thing that made it a little awkward was that some people had pretty intense listening faces so I tried to avoid looking at them too much.

The Aftermath

After the Fireside, a lot of people came up to me to tell me how much they loved my talk! I got a lot of hugs and handshakes. Some people told me how their story related to my story or how I offered a perspective of finding religion that they’d never heard or thought of before. Some people told me they thought the talk was hilarious and how they were glad I got moved up from backup to starter. It was all very encouraging and made me feel pretty good. I probably wouldn’t want to talk in front of everybody like that too often but next time, I’ll probably be a lot less nervous about it. It was a great experience.

I wish you were there to see it.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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Letters to J

That’s What I Love About Sunday

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me and my missionaries

Dear J,

On Sunday, my roommate and I went down to Houston to visit my favorite missionary at her new church! We weren’t sure what to expect but judging from what she said about her new area, we figured it would be pretty rough. I brought my gun just in case. After about an hour drive with the windows down because my truck’s AC is out, we rolled up to a nice little church. I left my gun in the truck.

We got in there and debated on the best way to surprise her. We decided to just walk straight up to her and say Hey what’re you doing here? So that’s what we did. She was talking to some old guy when we showed up so on one hand I felt bad for pulling her away but on the other hand, he gets to see her all the time so get outta my way. She was so excited to see us! She couldn’t believe we were there. She did that thing people do where they’re so excited that they laugh and hide their face. We said we came to bust her out. We talked for a little bit and caught up as much as we could before church started.

Since she’s a missionary, she’s not really filled in on what’s going on in the world. I let her know that since she’s been out, Kate Spade, Anthony Bourdain, and Mac Miller had all died. She thought I was lying at least about Kate Spade. I had also written her a nice letter before we came so I gave her that along with one of those little knives that looks like a key. I told her that as long as she aims for the soft spots (neck, eyes, temple) she should be fine. She’s tough. She also asked us to stalk her sister’s boyfriend to make sure he’s a good guy.

Her church was wild. A baby on a leash tried to climb on her companion’s lap. Another kid wearing a paper hat danced across the floor during a talk. Everybody except the bishop was 30 and up (the bishop was 28). I don’t remember exactly how it happened but the guy giving our Sunday School lesson on baptism brought up a what-if scenario about what would happen if he died taking the missionaries to a strip club! My favorite missionary tried to steer the conversation back on track but it didn’t work. Later on, somebody brought up that they knew a 40 year old woman who wasn’t married yet and one guy said that unless the church lifted the ban on polygamy, he couldn’t take on any more wives! Those people were hilarious. I’d probably keep on going down there if it didn’t take so much gas and if my truck’s AC wasn’t broken.

After the lessons, we got to talk to my favorite missionary more. She asked how everyone back in College Station was and how things were going at church. Also while we were talking, some little kid came up and told me I looked like an actor from Transformers. When I asked him which one, he said it was one that was mean to the girl in the movie. I’m not sure if that was a compliment or not. I couldn’t ask him because he had already ran off with a bag of popcorn. I don’t remember what I said later on but it made my favorite missionary laugh and hit me. Now I’m not 100% sure but I’m pretty sure she’s not allowed to hit me! If I had the Melchizedek priesthood that would technically be elder abuse. That’s ok, though. It was just a love tap.

The worst part of the whole trip was leaving her.

She had a meeting to go to so we had to cut the visit a little shorter than we wanted. Maybe if we had told her beforehand that we were coming we could’ve planned something. Oh well. I’m glad I got to spend as much time with her as I did. I told her we’d back back for her birthday, though. Hopefully I’ve got her polaroid album done by then.

I think she’ll love it.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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