Why is this site called Death of Hemingway?
Ernest Hemingway was larger than life. His exploits from war to women have been the subject of hundreds of books and inspired nations full of men to follow in his footsteps. Unfortunately, problems and confusion in Hemingway’s past led him to take his own life. On the surface, he was rough and grizzly. He was the ideal man’s man. He was a war veteran, bullfighter, deep sea fisherman, and part-time boxer. But underneath it all, he was deeply troubled. He was said to have hated his mother. When he was young, she would dress him like a girl and pretend he and his sister were twins. This would leave him confused about his gender and sexuality. He would adopt a macho persona to combat that confusion.
He got along a little better with his father even though his father would beat the hell out of him and his siblings. He was devastated when he heard that his father had killed himself with a gunshot wound to the head. Tragically, this would be the same way Hemingway himself would die. Towards the end of his life, Hemingway would be constantly medicating and suffered from extreme depression. He struggled to write. He had lost his passion and his purpose. It was said that he could start a sentence, but couldn’t finish one. He couldn’t even manage to write a single sentence when asked to contribute to a volume for President John F. Kennedy.
After losing the only thing to him that gave his life meaning, Ernest Hemingway decided that life wasn’t worth living. He got up early on the morning of July 2, 1961, went down to his foyer, and shot himself in the head with a double-barrel, 12 gauge shotgun.
There are a lot of young men out there walking around lost and confused. Some grew up without fathers and some just grew up without a father figure they felt they could look up to. Luckily, I grew up with a great father who taught just about all he could about life and how to live a good one. Unfortunately, fathers can only teach you so much. They can teach you how to tie your shoes and ride a bike but they can’t give you a sense of drive and purpose. That comes from within.
We all have it, we just have to recognize it. This site is basically an open letter to other young men out there trying to discover their place in the world like I am. A lot of my posts are going to be introspection and life stories but I’m hoping that you can get something out of each post. A lot of us have similar stories and experiences. We’ve gone through some things we need to talk about and talk through with people but as men, we’ve been taught to bottle those things up.
I’m here to show people like my brother and anyone who happens to read this blog that talking through parts of your life, even the seemingly mundane parts, can help unlock something inside you. You’ll get to know yourself so much better and you’ll have a clearer perception of your own goals and your own desires. Then you’ll hopefully be able to plot out a rough roadmap for your life and won’t feel lost, hopeless, and devoid of purpose.
One thing I absolutely hate is when you’re at an event with a big group and somebody gets the BRILLIANT idea that it’s time for an ice breaker. Everyone has to go around and say their name and some stupid fact about themselves. They’re usually supposed to say a “fun” fact or something unique about them but you almost always get hit with what kind of pet (read: dog) they have or a bunch of “oh my gosh I can’t think of anything *giggle*”. I’m just going to lay out some of those dumb facts about me so that if any of you ever meet me at some sort of event, we won’t have to go through this again. I’ll update these as necessary.
Where were you born?
I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii on July 5, 1995 at 7:05 pm.
Who’s your favorite superhero?
I’m not a huge fan of superheroes but my favorite comic book character is The Punisher because he straight up kills the bad guys.
If you could have dinner with one living person and one dead person, who would you choose?
Living: Bear Grylls
Dead: Steve Irwin
Who was your first love?
When I was about 10 years old, my great grandma took me and my brother and sister to the movies to watch Sky High and I fell in love with Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
How big would a moth have to be for you to run away from it?
- 8 Mile
- Training Day
- Never Back Down
- The Punisher
- Lady in the Water