Death of Hemingway

7 Tips for Incoming College Freshmen

August 29, 2018 No Comments

The sun is blazing hot and the traffic is terrible. You know what that means! School is back in session. That also means that there are hundreds of 18 year olds wandering an unfamiliar town lost and confused. They don’t know how to drive or even walk down a sidewalk. Their parents aren’t there to guide their decisions anymore. They’ll either go buck wild or become a recluse. There’s usually no in-between during freshman year. To help you out, I’ve compiled a list of tips that will come in handy no matter which type of freshman you or your recently graduated high school student will become.

1. Never Pass up Free Food

The starving college student myth is not a myth. Food is easy to come by and hard to afford when you’re in college, especially when you’re looking at the on-campus options. Everything offered by your university has been upcharged like a mofo and will leave your wallet emptier than your roommate’s mini fridge likely will be. You can stock up on ramen or you can take advantage of the naive campus organizations who think offering free food will make you join their knitting circle.

During the first week of class, there is guaranteed to be a minimum of a bunch of events that offer free food. These will give you great opportunities to get free food. You might be able to socialize a little bit and make new friends but the main focus here should be the free food. Only socialize with people who are in organizations. They’ll most likely invite you to other events that are offering free food. If there’s one thing you don’t mess up during your first year of being independent, let it be this. Or stock up on Ramen.

2. Join an Organization

Unless you want to be a lonely hermit sitting in your dorm watching The Office for the fifteenth time, you need to make some friends. There’s no better way to make friends than to join one of those organizations that were handing out free food during syllabus week (read: day). Most colleges have organizations that cater to very specific interests so if you can’t find one that suits you, maybe ~~you’re just not that interesting~~ you aren’t looking hard enough.

3. STUDY

Studying is probably the most important thing on this list. I get it. Between organizations and binge ~~drinking~~ watching shows on Netflix, studying can get lost in the shuffle. Don’t let it. You’re in college for on reason: to get a degree. Everything else is secondary. Don’t let your parents’ money go to waste. And if you’re offended by me saying that and try to hit me with “I got student loans” or “I’m working through college” then you’d be even stupider than the average student if you went ahead and wasted your own hard-earned money.

4. Call Your Parents (Or at Least Your Mom)

Your mom needs to hear from you at least once a week MINIMUM. This is non-negotiable. If I need to explain to you why this is, you’re either a terrible child, have a really bad relationship with your mom that needs to be worked on, or your mom is dead. Those are topics for another blog post.

5. Figure Out Your Major ASAP

A lot of kids head to college with at least a general idea of what they want to major in. Other go in with your future all laid out. Reality is going to hit both of those types like a freight train. High school might have been tough but college is a whole different beast. If you’re not careful, it will take what you love and turn it into something you hate. The difference is in success and failure is how you respond to adversity. You’ll find out pretty quickly whether or not you can handle the workload required to be in your major. If it’s too much, switch as soon as you can. You don’t want to waste any time or money staying in a major and accruing credits that won’t translate to a different degree plan if you choose to change your major later on down the road. Assess the situation and figure out whether you’re going to sink or swim ASAP.

6. Learn How to Drive

For the love of all that is holy, please learn to drive before you get to campus. Here are some helpful tips if you need a crash course in driving:

-The gas pedal is on the right. The brake is on the left.

-Left lane=fast, right lane=five over the speed limit

-You don’t need to slow down to five miles and hour to look for your turn.

-If you’re getting into a turning lane, get into it BEFORE you slow down to a complete stop.

-When the red lights come on on the car in front of you, that means they’re slowing down and you should, too.

-Pedestrians technically have the right of way but if they’re not in a designated crosswalk, it’s ok to drive as closely as possible to them to give them a little reminder to use the dang crosswalk.

-If you’re going to pullout in front of someone, you’d better time it right. If not, you;d better have some good insurance.

7. Have Fun

The last piece of advice I’ve got for you is to have fun. Don’t stress out too much. Unless you screw up and don’t take any of my sage advice, you’ll only be a freshman once. There are whole new possibilities and experiences out there for you to have. Whole new memories for you to make. Don’t waste any time. Go out there and have those experiences. Make those memories. And don’t do anything too stupid.

And call your mom.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

Letters to J

Brotherly Love

August 27, 2018 No Comments

Dear J,

My little brother starts college this week. It’s pretty crazy. I still remember him as that little baby I grew up with in a trailer in Somerville. He used to run around in nothing but a diaper and little baby cowboy boots. He would love to run around the woods with me and our sister. Our parents would always dress us in the same style clothes like we were twins even though we were five years apart and didn’t look the same.

Wanna Be A Baller

Growing up, we played sports and were each other’s biggest fans. We would be at every baseball, football, and basketball game that the other had, cheering him on at the top of our lungs. Later on when I was in college, he joined the tennis team for a little bit and I’d come down to watch him in tournaments. He was incredibly gifted in just about every sport he tried and was way more determined to excel than I ever was. It’s that heart and determination he brings with him to college that I know is going to see him through. He doesn’t quit and he can’t lose.

Rough and Tumble

I put him through a lot as a kid, though. I’ve hurt him a lot and it’s a wonder he still puts up with me. The earliest memory I have of hurting him is when he was about one or two years old. For some reason, I thought people’s heads were basically connected to their necks like a joint on an action figure. I wanted to test that out so I tried to pick him up by the head and swing him around. It didn’t work too well because he started crying once I wrapped my arms around his head and picked him up. One time we were “sword fighting” with those twist top mechanical pencils and I had untwisted the lead until it was really long. I ended up stabbing him in the wrist with it and my mom had to pull the lead out with tweezers. Another time, I was throwing plastic dollar store darts at him and busted a little hole in his forehead. Another time I pulled a tree branch back and let it whack him in the face. A big ol stick got stuck in his eyelid.

Knocked TF Out

The worst thing I think I ever did to him, though, was knock his front teeth out. A lot of people threaten people and say they’re gonna do it, but I actually did it. I didn’t do it on purpose, though. We were all at the beach that day. Me, my brother, and my sister were splashing around in the water while my parents and grandma were chilling in the sand. Me and my brother thought it would be a good idea to start throwing sand at each other. My mom saw us and told us to quit throwing sand so we did but we found a loophole and started throwing bits of coral at each other. The last piece of coral I threw skipped off the water and hit him square in the front teeth. They turned to dust. I try to think of ways to talk my out of what just happened but it was pretty clear there was no way that was going to happen. He’s got fake front teeth now and I feel bad about it pretty much every day. I wish I had enough money to give him the best implants. I love him so much and wish I could take back all those times I hurt him.

Ragrets

I know he knows I love him. He’s probably already forgiven me and forgotten about most of those things (except for breaking his front teeth) but it still sucks that I did all that. It makes me almost tear up thinking about the times I made him cry, the times I made him feel like I didn’t care about him. But I do and I always will.

Brand New Man

I’m not gonna lie, I choked up a little bit when I saw him with his shaved head marching down the field with his squadron. He looked like a new man. He looked like a completely different person. When I left for college, he was a little thirteen year old kid. He hadn’t even been through some of the biggest challenges life was about to throw at him. That’s another one of those irrational regrets that I have. I know how hard life was between 13 and 18. Balancing your social life, home life, and the stress of trying to keep up your grades to get scholarships for college so you’re not buried in debt when you graduate. Those few years were incredibly taxing. Sometimes I get upset with myself for not being there to guide him through that. I know I was away at college and tried to text him as much advice as I could but I wish I was physically there for him.

Here We Go Again

The go thing is, I’m here now. I live about ten minutes from campus and will be seeing him as much as possible. I don’t want to smother him but I also don’t want to waste any opportunity of seeing my best friend. Maybe I’ll have a second chance to help him with some of those life problems he’ll undoubtedly face in college. Hopefully he won’t run into too many, but I’ll be here if he does.

So, J, that’s what’s been on my mind. My little brother’s in college and it’s given us a whole new chance to to grow together.I won’t waste this chance. And if you’re reading this, little bro, good luck out there. I love you.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

Life Advice

Fear of Success?

August 23, 2018 No Comments

To Whom it May Concern,

I’ve been thinking a little bit lately about what holds people back from going after their dreams. Well not necessarily going after them, but accomplishing them. I think people are really good at putting plans into action to go after what they want, they just have a hard time seeing those plans through to the end. They’re either just plain lazy or they’re afraid of what will happen if they actually succeed. I think it’s the second part.

Why do we fear success?

At first, the thought didn’t make any sense to me. It makes sense to fear rejection. It sucks when you get your hopes up asking someone out or applying for a job just to be told that what you bring to the table just isn’t what they’re looking for. It makes sense to fear failure. It’s hard to put your heart into something and give it your all to find out that it either wasn’t enough or you couldn’t get enough people to believe in you. But it didn’t make any sense to me that somebody could be afraid to accomplish their goals. The more I thought about it, though, the more I came up with reasons why people and even why I might be afraid of success.

When you fail you can just go back to doing what you were doing

At least when you fail, you can go back to familiar territory and just pick up where you left off. Usually, you’re no worse off than when you started so it’s not that bad. Trust me. I’ve failed a lot. The last time I really failed was a few months ago when I ran for state representative. I feel like I ran a good campaign but I ultimately lost the election. I wasn’t tossed in jail or assassinated for having the audacity to run. Nobody even really cared that I lost. My friends and family thought it was cool that I ran and then everything went back to normal. At least I tried.

“Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s part of success.” – Arianna Huffington

I didn’t go in with a losing mindset, but others in my shoes might have gotten cold feet towards the end. What if I win? Am I ready to represent my district in Austin? Do I have what it takes? They might have gotten complacent and thought I’ll probably lose anyway. Then when they did lose, they could say that at least they tried.

You equate more humility with less success

Do you remember that one time Nastia Liukin went out to qualify for the 2012 Olympics and didn’t make it because she fell? I think about that a lot. The way she stuck her foot up at the end was pretty funny but it also showed her owning her failure. Yeah it sucked that she wouldn’t be able to represent the USA across the pond, but she knew she was better than her failure. She was one of the greatest gymnasts in the world at the time but she didn’t lash out after she failed. She didn’t go on TMZ and rant or bust another girl’s kneecaps. She remained humble.

A lot of people think you can only show humility in defeat and that success leads to pride. You don’t have to go overboard with it but you should feel proud when you succeed. You’ve accomplished a goal of yours. Why shouldn’t you be happy about that? You don’t have to lose yourself in it. You don’t have to rub your accomplishments in anyone’s face. But you can be content with the fact that you had a goal, you went after it, and you succeeded. There’s nothing wrong with that. When I was in 4th grade, I won an area-wide writing contest. I didn’t rub my $25 check in any of the other kids’ faces. I just got my picture taken for the local newspaper and got my essay framed by my mom.

You have to get out of your comfort zone

In order to succeed, you have to take risks. That’s the bottom line. A lot of people can’t handle that. They’re afraid of change and they’re afraid of stepping out of their comfort zone but they love to dream. If they can’t take risks, they risk their dreams just being dreams. It’s a lot easier to get out of your comfort zone than people think. Just do the thing and put yourself in a situation where you can’t back out. Wanna try out a new hairstyle or shirt or something? Change it up right before work or right before you go out. Then you can’t go into hiding when your anxiety becomes unbearable. The best advice I can give is from We’re the Millers. Just count to three and do whatever uncomfortable task is standing between you and success. You’ll never know how that girl feels if you don’t send her that risky text. You’ll never get that job if you don’t send in that application. You’ll never start your own business if you don’t quite your job. You just gotta go for it.

Maintaining success is harder than succeeding

Everyone wants that moment in the spotlight, that Rocky moment where they can throw their fists in the air and shout I did it! But then they want everything to go back to normal and that’s just not going to happen. Depending on what level of success you achieve, it’s going to take a lot of work and effort to maintain that. Rocky didn’t go the distance with Apollo Creed and then go back to his quiet life with Butkus in his little apartment. Heck no. Even though he wanted to retire after every matchup, he went on to fight in five more movie-worthy fights and train Apollo’s son. Maintaining success takes hard work and dedication. You’ve gotta have that fire in you. Some people just have embers in them that are easily snuffed out.

You’re in love with the chase

For some people, they don’t care one way or the other about succeeding because it’s all about the chase for them. They’re more worried about the ride than the destination. It makes sense. When you’re going after a goal, you get a rush. You heart is pumping and your brain is racing trying to figure out how to achieve your goal. Maybe you get your friends and family to rally around you. You feel good. You have a sense of purpose. Ut when you achieve your goal, everything sort of dies down. You have that now what? moment. So then you set another goal for yourself to get that high again. That’s why, for some people, the chase is more important than the actual goal. They just want that sense of purpose and that feeling that they’re progressing and not staying stagnant.

It happens to all of us

I’ve gone through just about all of the scenarios listed above at one point or another. It happens to everyone. The important thing is that we recognize that fear in us and those things that are causing us to be complacent or not do our best to reach our goals. Then, once we recognize them, eliminate them. Most of the time, we’re the only ones standing our way.

Move.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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