I’m Not Gay

Dear J,

I’m not gay, but I have been watching a lot of Queer Eye on Netflix lately. That show is so good! It really is about a whole lot more than a makeover. The people on this show gain not only style but confidence, new mindsets, and stronger relationships with their friends and family. There ain’t nothing wrong with that. I’ve been trying to pick up tips so I don’t look like a chump when I leave my apartment. I haven’t been super successful yet. The other day I went to Ross to try and get some new shirts for work. I got a neutral colored one, a patterned one, and a colorful one. I got home before I realized the colorful shirt was actually a women’s shirt. The buttons were on the left side. That’s a little bit too far out of my comfort zone. Anyway, my favorite member of the Fab 5 has gotta be Antoni. He’s pretty funny and reminds me of a smaller Christian Bale. Plus I think it would be really cool to know how to cook for people. The last time I cooked was when my roommate signed us up to feed the sister missionaries. That was something. My favorite quote from the show so far was from Bobby, though. He said that sometimes when we feel buried, we’re actually just being planted. Pretty good stuff.

It’s been pretty nice to laugh and feel good while watching the show because I’ve been pretty bummed out lately. One of my all-time favorite missionaries from church got sent to a different city. She was one of the ones we cooked for. This past Sunday was our first service without her. It just sucks because we’ve had her for like six months or so and we were friends and I hate saying goodbye. I know those people she’s around now need the Gospel but I’m selfish! I want her to get sent back here along with all my other missionaries that got sent away! I miss them a lot. They’ve taught me so much and shown me so much love that it’s hard on me when they have to go. I get sad for days! The thing I liked about this sister missionary was that she was one of the few people who could hear my side comments. I’m always saying some nonsense under my breath and for some reason, only certain people can hear it when I do. They’re just like rough drafts or throwaway jokes, I guess. Whenever I would make one of those comments, no one else would notice but she’d stare at me and smirk like she was caught between saying something and laughing. I’ll miss her.

By the way, I found one of your Spotify playlists. It’s really good. I’ve been listening to it while I’m at work. I haven’t heard a lot of the songs or artists on there before. They mostly seem like hipster songs you listen to while zoning out on your bed alone in your room but that’s exactly what I expected from you. What I didn’t expect was the Disturbed cover of The Sound of Silence. That one caught me off guard. Between that and Till I Collapse, I think I fell in love [insert heart eyes emoji] or at least something very close. It probably would’ve been the real deal if Till I Collapse wasn’t censored. That and if there was some Lana del Rey sprinkled in there. Then it would’ve been perfect.

Well I have to go pickup my car-less roommate from campus and get some McDonald’s delivered to my apartment so I’ll end this letter here. Don’t forget about me.

-Jeston

Follow me: @DoHpodcast and @JestonTexeira

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